I Met Me a Fer Realz Alien


Yesterday I was walking down the street and bumped in to a real, honest-to-Pete alien with big bulgy eyes and a huge head, the works. And he asked, “Why is there war here?”

I said, “I don’t know, man. But maybe some people just want a bigger piece of the pie.”

He said, “There’s pie??”

“No, that’s just a metaphor”, I said.


“…but I know where we can get pie.”

So over coconut creme pie, he asked me again why there is war on Earth. I said, “I think it all boils down to human insecurity. We feel that there isn’t enough to go around. We fear scarcity. We alienate (no offense) certain groups of people because of their religion, their ideas, their culture, their sexuality, their skin colour, and we make them an enemy because they are supposedly different. But that’s only a justification. It’s all about a mindset of lack and fear and mistrust.”

The alien played with the whipped cream on his pie as he considered this. “Don’t they know that the sun provides ample energy to support you all, and that cooperation is better than fighting?”

“I guess not”

“Good pie, though”, he said.

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